Shattered dreams

It was July 9th, 2002. It started out like any other day. I was the head of a boy scout troop in Logan Utah and was putting together a Hawaiian Luau for the boys before we took a 6 week break and  resumed again in the fall. Have you ever wondered if things were set in order before a day even started? Predestined? I took my son Jacob and headed out to the Dollar tree to get some party decor. On the way, we stopped at the bank to get some cash. As we were heading out of the parking lot a car rushed to make it through a yellow light and hit us on the passenger side. The car was totaled but Jacob and I were fine. We walked to a restaurant across the street so that I could call my husband at work to come pick us up. Jacob and I sat on a boulder and waited for our ride. He started to cry because of a hangnail he had on his big toe! I responded that he was fine, "it's just a little ouchie!!" Man, the little things we can live to regret. ( I now have a plaster casting of my son's foot that sits in my closet and I can see that hangnail. A constant reminder that Mommies should always kiss ouchies, no matter how small.)
My husband soon arrived and took us back to the house. I was having some neck and shoulder pain and decided I would set up an appointment to see a chiropractor. I was to be there at 3:00 in the afternoon.At 2:30 my friend called from Colorado. I hadn't heard from her in a while so instead of laying Jacob down for his afternoon nap I chatted with my friend on the phone. Around 2:50 I finished my call. Just in time to head out the door for my appointment. As I went downstairs Jacob was playing with his big Pokemon marbles and bouncy ball with his 6 year old brother. The other two boys were sitting on the sofa watching TV. I will never forget this picture in my mind because it is the last time I would see my little "mister" alive, playing happily, not realizing that in just a few short minutes his little life would be taken away from us.
I continued to my vehicle and got in to leave.(Ford Expedition) As I backed out I felt a thump on my back bumper. I looked behind wondering what it could possibly be. It was garbage day, did I bump the neighbors can? I decided to pull forward and get out to see, this was THE biggest mistake I have ever made in my life and get to live with everyday. As I pulled forward I felt my wheel go over the object in the road. I was a little worried now, oh my gosh, was the cat out, the neighbors cat? As I got out of my vehicle I saw a gold shine over the object. I thought to myself,  "maybe one of the neighbor kids left a bike in the road, great!" As I got closer the shine went away and to my absolute shock and horror my son Jacob Morgan Sanchez lay there in the road, lifeless! Words can't describe what a mom feels at that moment in time. A part of my very heart and soul died that day. Now, 10 years later, I still search for myself  and who I used to be. This blog is my journey. My Story of tragedy and life never the same.Painful memories tucked away where they are safe. Something I have learned to do to survive.